Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Dear Gigantinormous cockroaches of Savannah,

You fascinate me, really you do, mostly because you are the size of Escalades, but the thing is that bugs, especially ones of your size, creep me the hell out, and really, I'm too icked out to even squish you (not to mention you're so big it would be like squishing a bird). Spiders I can deal with, but the mutant cockroaches just squick me out.

So, if you guys could stay the heck out of my house, I would appreciate the heck out of you.

Thanks,

C-8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear mosquitos and other flying insects of Savannah,

Although I've always suspected that my innate sweetness would translate into me being delicious, it would mean the world to me if you guys could stop sucking my blood. Because the giant welts that you're leaving behind make the idea of shorts impossible, and I'm kind of starting to look like a leper.

Thanks,

C-8

Labels: letter to