Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Who you gonna call?

For about the past week, every time I walked past one certain spot in my kitchen (the counter right below the spice cabinet), I smelled old lady perfume.


The first time, I thought maybe it was me, maybe I'd been out shopping and had gotten fooled into testing eau de senior citizen on myself.

The second time, I thought maybe it was something in the spice cabinet, like maybe I had a bottle of extract of oldster and I'd left it open.

The next time, I was starting to wonder if it was just me, like maybe I was imagining it.

Finally, my husband mentioned that he'd smelled it and wondered whether or not we had an old lady ghost in the house. This explanation was fairly plausible, since Savannah is one of the most haunted cities in the US.

Several more days went by and I couldn't get over the fact that I was only smelling that essence of Methuzalah only in that one little spot of the house. I tore open the spice cabinet and went through everything, but nothing was amiss. I sniffed the side of the refrigerator to see if there was something funky leaking out of the freezer, but nothing. Frustrated because I couldn't figure it out, I started going through the pile of junk mail on the counter and throwing it out - Suddenly the smell was so much more pronounced, it was like there was an old lady perched on my shoulder, I was just about to call Ghost Busters when I looked down to see a catalog from my favorite girly cosmetics store. "Oooh, cool, girly cosmetic stuff," I thought. As I cracked open the catalog, out fell a tester for some Elizabeth Arden perfume... and it smelled like an old lady. We'll recall that this isn't the first time that I've been suckered by a perfume ad.

So - the good news is that my house isn't haunted.

The bad news is that I need to throw out the junk mail more often.

Labels: suzy fucking homemaker