Saturday, June 24, 2006

How come the Brady Bunch had a maid?

Carol didn't work or anything, did they really need Alice there full time? I mean, she couldn't even keep track of Kitty Carryall or head off the sexual tension between Greg and Marcia. What good was she?


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In other, non-random-pop-culture-related news - one week from today, I'll be on an island in the Caribbean that I probably wouldn't be able to locate on a map if I had a gun to my head. And I'll be there for six whole days, staying at a gorgeous resort, eating exotic food, lounging on the beach, maybe taking tours through the rain forest or to go whale watching. It will be my first real vacation in just about forever (last vacation was 8 years ago when my husband and I went to the Cayman Islands, which would have been great if I hadn't been pregnant, thus unable to partake in any of the island rum - the vacation was planned, the pregnancy was not) Sounds groovy, right?

Sure, unless you're a giant bundle of issues cleverly disguised as a girl, like I am.

First of all, I hate traveling. HATE IT. I hate the way airports smell, I hate the takeoffs and landings, I hate the sound of everyone ripping into peanut bags and the smell of peanuts that permeates the air, I hate the seats, I hate the fact that I'm ALWAYS behind someone who feels the need to put their chair all the way back, I hate that anxious moment before the cabin doors open when everyone is standing up and gathering their carry on bags and I hate the fact that you can't get rid of that just-traveled feeling for at least a day.

Second of all, I'm not necessarily a beachy person - I can handle it for about an hour and then I'm bored, and bright pink and uncomfortable.

Third of all, it's not that I don't like being on vacation, but I'm also a very home-y type of person who likes having that home connection. And that makes me sound like one of those Ugly Americans who would go to foreign lands and complain because they didn't have ranch dressing or grits with red-eye gravy, and I'm really not, I'm open to new experiences* and I like learning about new cultures and stuff, it's just that I also like having that thread of familiarity.

Lastly, I hate the thought that I feel like I'll be missing out on the rest of life while I'm away. I hate feeling left out. I've already been feeling so unconnected** to everything and everyone lately, I'm worried that I'll come back and feel even less tethered to "real life".

That being said, I've got my iPod and some books to pass the boring airplane and beach time, and a week away from work and the everyday bullshit will kind of be nice.


* take that however you want, perverts

** yes, "unconnected" not "disconnected". "Disconnected" would imply that I had, at one time felt connected, but "unconnected" more accurately describes what I feel. Kind of like I can't find the right outlet for my plug, or something.