Friday, February 19, 2010

Dear Ambien,

I was excited when the sleep specialist doctor dude decided that I don't have sleep apnea, just insomnia and prescribed me a bottle of your adorable little pills, I'd heard so many fun and interesting things about you. And since I didn't really experiment with drugs in high school like a normal person, I was pretty excited to try you out.

After a couple warnings from friends (and the internet, and the pharmacy), I tucked my phone away prior to popping the pill, because I did not want to be held responsible for any calls or texts I might be inspired to send.

Little did I remember that I was still connected to the outside world by my precious little iBook.

So instead of taking the pill and going to bed like a normal person, I just had to stay awake for a full three hours to see how many poor decisions I could make in that time frame. Turns out, quite a few.

So, Ambien, it may have seemed like fun at the time, but I'm not quite sure if you're worth the morning after mortification. Because, really.

If you need me, I'll be googling to see if I can find an effective way to bleach my brain.

Thanks anyway, I guess.


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