Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I have a confessionI may be thirty-mumble and have a kid and worry about gray hair and wrinkles and adjustable rate mortgages and all of that other grown up stuff, but I still don't feel like a real grown up.
My dinner plates are mis-matched, I don't own a single potholder, I have never once had the urge to go antiquing and I cannot, for the life of me, understand why anyone would want to go on a cruise. Not to mention how I consider chips and salsa a halfway decent meal or how, on a regular basis, I leave the house with my hair in pigtails. And have I ever EVER once gotten Christmas cards out in a timely manner? Nope.
And who can forget how both of The Kid's teammates who were hanging out at the house last weekend asked me to friend them on Facebook? (I didn't, thankyouverymuch, no matter how much one of them kept assuring me that he was "almost 11" and that he has always liked "older girls")
Today, I decided to take a step towards grown-up-hood and become a wine-drinker - I don't drink much, not for any reason, really, and I've never been into wine, but I figured that I live in wine country, I pass acres of vineyards every time I drive anywhere, so maybe I could try it out. I bought a bottle of local wine from Trader Joe's and, after spending half an hour looking for a corkscrew, I popped it open and poured myself a glass... and, just not into it.
I see these other moms at basketball events, rocking their mom-haircuts, sensible khakis on the weekend and grown-up leather purses and I can't imagine wanting to integrate any of those things into my life.
Am I destined to forever be un-sophisticated and goofy? Will I ever feel the urge to listen to talk radio or jazz? Will I ever feel qualified to go to parent-teacher conferences? Will a mini-van ever sound like a good idea? I thought it would happen when I turned 30, but... not so much. Will it happen when I'm 40, or is that when I start getting botox and shopping for leopard-print spandex outfits, transitioning straight into cougar-ness?
Labels: adventures in shitty parenting