Saturday, September 04, 2010

at the risk of turning into a Mommy blogger

No one tells you, before you have a kid, just how many jobs you're taking on - chef, medic, teacher, maid, protector, chauffeur - just to name a few. But it's one of those jobs where there are always additional duties being added to the roster.


The Kid (parked in front of the XBOX 360): hey, since you're up, can you get me a bagel with cream cheese?

Me: sure, do want it toasted?

The Kid (without looking away from the video game): yeah, but not so toasted that it looks toasted.

Me: ...

The Kid: and I don't want it closed like a sandwich, just open with the cream cheese on it.

Me: and toasted without looking toasted?

The Kid: yeah, please

Me: of course, your majesty, can I get you anything else?

The Kid: a glass of water would be nice.

so, apparently, I've added "waitress" to my resume and "stealth toasting" to my skill set. That kid is just lucky I haven't taken up "smothering sixth graders with their own pillows" as a hobby.

Labels: adventures in shitty parenting