Sunday, January 09, 2011

I can hear the words and I can say the words and I can understand the words, but I still feel like I can't quite grasp the concept of my dad being gone.

Gone, like he's just out seeing a movie or something.

Especially when, on Friday morning, his doctor was talking about getting him discharged. Then on Friday night, he started feeling like he was getting sick. By the time he was taken into the hospital, they were calling it pneumonia. By last night, his already weakened heart wasn't able to handle it and we lost him.

Lost him, like we took him to the mall and weren't holding his hand and he wandered into the arcade.

He was the smartest person I ever knew, I always said I'd use him as my lifeline if I ever found myself on one of those knowledge-based game shows. He inspired my writing and my photography and my cooking and my love of reading and my endless curiosity. He was responsible for my height and my dry sense of humor. He was an excellent sane to my mom's crazy. And while I didn't see him often, I'm going to miss him every day for the rest of my life.

7 comment(s):

  • I'm so sorry, Cate. I'm sending hugs to both you and Julie. :(

    By Blogger Adena Bailey, at 2:47 PM  

  • So very sorry to hear that. Big huge lovin' hugs to you!

    By Blogger Barb Black, at 3:08 PM  

  • So sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and your family.

    By Blogger Steph, at 3:38 PM  

  • So unfortunate that this happened. I hope the best for your and your family.

    By Blogger Mugdha, at 7:59 PM  

  • Yes. Everything you said. My professor told me I was excused from school for the rest of the weekend. When I left, all 70 people there started sending love and healing to our entire family. I hope you've been catching some of what they're sending.
    Remember that death ends a life, but not a relationship.


    By Blogger Jootastic, at 11:56 PM  

  • I'm so very sorry to read this. Sending lots of love and hugs to you!!

    By Blogger Amanda, at 8:22 AM  

  • I'm so very sorry.

    By Blogger Bobbie, at 8:12 AM  

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