Thursday, September 08, 2011

Vegans can fuck right off

So, due to my ongoing issues with depression, I've pretty much got zero interest in anything my usual hobbies so I spend most of my days stumbling around the internet, looking at stuff and I found a recipe for a chocolate pie using tofu instead of dairy products and all the reviews were positive, stuff about how it's "delicious" and "healthy" and "no one will ever guess it's vegan!" I figured I could give it a shot.

I got the right kind of tofu and a pie crust and put it all together this afternoon (when I was home alone, I didn't want anyone poisoned by the idea of tofu in a dessert before trying it).

On the plus side - it didn't taste like tofu.

On the negative side - it was gross. Very gross. It was like eating chocolate-flavored styrofoam. Except less appetizing.

On the semi-plus side - I laughed until I was crying when I finally fessed up as to why the pie had an odd texture.

Vegans, stop trying to pretend that your gross, cruelty-free foods taste as good as or better than real food, okay?

Once again it's just proven that vegans are just... I can't with them. Especially vegans who claim to be herbivores because they love and/or respect animals too much - you know what, if you're not smart enough to be able to like animals and understand the concept of the food chain, you and I have nothing to talk about. If animals weren't put here on the earth for us to eat, they wouldn't be comprised entirely of meat, they would be made of stone or quinoa or something else non-edible like that.

Labels: le crazy, suzy fucking homemaker