Thursday, December 09, 2004

can we talk about holiday decorations for a minute?

(did that sound too Joan Rivers?)

Here's my thoughts on holiday decorations - if you're going to do them, do them tastefully, or sparingly, or, if all else fails, inside your house.

Here are my pet peeves for holiday decorating:

  • those giant inflatable holiday things - do you really NEED a 10 foot tall polar bear in a ski hat on your front yard?
  • icicle lights in Phoenix - these fool no one, they don't look anything like icicles, and even if they did, it's PHOENIX, it's 90 degrees (okay, 60, but still)
  • front yards that look like the North Pole vomited over the Christmas section at Walgreen's.
  • when some of the lights blink on and off and some don't - you're going to give someone a seizure
  • those dancing Santas - I don't care if he's wearing sunglasses, or a Hawaiian shirt, or the traditional santa suit, if he's got a motion censor and shakes his ass to "Santa Clause is coming to town" whenever anyone walks near him, it's not right
  • mixing Christmas themes - you need to make a decision between Santa and the nativity scene, because you can't do both - I mean, I'm no religious scholar, but I'm pretty sure that Mary rode a donkey, not Rudolph , and I don't recall that it was Frosty who delivered the mhyrr.


posted by Veruca Salt at 7:39 AM |

6 comment(s):

  • OR what about the jews and their... uh... festival of lights... or something... oh crap.... i'm going to hell... oh wait... i'm buddhist, i don't believe in that stuff... oh wait...i'm sooo coming back as a jew next life...geez...

    By Blogger Jootastic, at 8:12 AM  

  • I am, and always have been, all for giant inflatable lawn monstrosities. Personally, I'm not a holiday type guy or anything, but I'm always amused by a giant flappy polar bear in someone's front yard.

    The juxtaposition. It's priceless.

    By Blogger Agent 31, at 8:13 AM  

  • just down the street from me there is a house with 3 santas in place of the wise men.

    "oooh look mommy! this year jesus is getting gold, candycanes, and mhyrr."

    i actually drove past it twice to explain to the kids that its not 'festive', its 'just plain fucking ridiculous'. buy they were distracted by the 10 foot inflatable snowman that was blinking and shaking its ass.

    at least its good to know that there are people in AZ are just as stupid.

    By Blogger kate., at 8:20 AM  

  • The ten foot inflatables are a "must have" this year! Didn't you get the memo?

    I like that my neighbor had a 10 ft inflatable pumpkin man from the start of Oct. to just recently where it magically transformed into a 10 ft inflatable Santa.

    I have a feeling Santa will be in her yard until Easter...to be replaced by a rabbit and so on...

    one, two, three... EYESORE!

    By Blogger nique, at 8:41 AM  

  • How about the mixing of holidays... like Christmas and the Fourth of July? Across the street, it looks as if Santa has vomited the American flag all over the yard. I can't even look out my front windows because I'll go blind.

    By Blogger Trish, at 1:41 PM  

  • I've seen the mixed holidays - wtf is that? I know you're patriotic and all, but does Santa really need to be wearing camouflage pants and carrying an American flag? Is it asking too much for people to pick ONE theme and stick with it?

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 2:37 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home