Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Last month (or whenever) on my first appointment with the sleep specialist.

Sleep Doctor: I'm going to write you a prescription for Ambien, but I don't want you to take it every night, just take it when you absolutely need it.

Me: Okey dokey!

So, even though it gives me the most delicious sleep, I was a super good patient and only took it when I absolutely needed it.



This morning on my follow up appointment with the sleep specialist.

Sleep Doc's Medical Student (after reading my file and studying my hastily filled out this morning diligently filled out all month sleep diary): It looks like you're able to sleep all night when you take the Ambien.

Me: Yeah, it's amazing.

Sleep Medical Student (looking at me like I'm an idjit): Then why don't you take it every night?

Me: Herp derp, why didn't I ever thinka dat? Golly gee whiz, all them years of book-learnin' in med school dun made you so darn smart!

Okay, I didn't actually say that. I explained to her that the doctor instructed me to take it on an as-needed basis. Then I calmly pointed out that her zipper was down. Then I proceeded to disregard everything that came out of her mouth because homegirl...

1) didn't bother to read the file
2) can't dress herself
and
3) clearly isn't respected enough around the office for anyone to save her the embarrassment of walking around with her pants gaping open.

On the upside, I got a new scrip for Ambien with a handful of refills on it. W00t!




Sidenote - it's a sign of how bad the economy is when the sleep specialist doctor has to diversify into body piercing...