Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Dear College Student Selling Something Door-to-Door,

Being non-threateningly attractive and flirting with women at least 10 years older than you is a fine start for selling, but let me pass along a couple of tips to you -

1) Don't flirt with women at least 10 years older than you when they look completely scroungy. They know they look scroungy and they will know you're full of shit.

2) Unidentifiable accents are great, some people are totally into them, but try to speak clear enough English to be able to explain whatever the hell it is you're selling.

3) Don't insult potential customers. The reason I didn't clutch my pearls in amazement when you announced you were an "exchange student from Europe" is because I'm not impressed. Asking me "have you ever heard of it?" didn't make me feel especially interested in buying whatever you're selling.

Also, I would like to apologize, in advance, for the fact that I have no intention of opening the door when you come back tomorrow.

Thanks and good luck!

me

Labels: I'm a jackass