Saturday, September 25, 2010

Maybe you should just stop talking

Dear Dog Park Douchebag,


When I asked if your dog was neutered (I could see that he wasn't) and you told me that, not only were you planning to make some money on breeding him*, you liked having your balls, so you figured he liked having his, I figured that I wasn't going to like you.

When you admitted to me that you preferred the dog park where we were to the other dog park in town because "there are more white people here"**, I was positive that I wasn't going to like you.

When you took a break from your rampant xenophobia to brag about the full body Japanese tattoo you're planning on getting***, I began to actively dislike you.

When you mentioned your work, I was trying to be polite by asking what you did for a living. When you proudly announced that you "work with retards"****, I wanted to back over you with my car.

Thanks for reminding me why I usually try to avoid conversations with people.

- me



* because, really, there aren't enough dogs in shelters, please breed your ill-behaved husky

** I hate when racists assume that just because I'm white, I'm going to hate all other races like they do

*** I asked him if he was doing it to celebrate his Japanese heritage, he laughed and wondered why everyone asks that.

**** I asked if he was allowed to call them that and he claimed that most people didn't understand what he meant when he told them that he worked with "mentally disabled adults" - even if that were true, wouldn't it be possible to come up with a slightly less offensive term?