Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Dear Lady at the Dog Park,

It was really interesting to hear your 20 years of service in the military and thanks for the complete rundown from boot camp through your retirement a couple months ago.

And it was really interesting to hear about your hysterectomy last week.

And it was really interesting to find out that your brother used to be a gay porn star and is now a "real actor".

And it was really interesting to hear about how your super hot ex stole your dog and you're still looking for her (the dog, not the ex)

And it was really interesting to hear about the complete history of un-spayed and un-neutered dogs.

And it was really interesting to hear about your fancy Mustang.

And it was really interesting to hear about all the girls you dated while in the military.

And it was really interesting to hear about the former model you're long-distance dating.

And it was really interesting to hear about how every time you get dressed up, young girls hit on you.

And it was really interesting how you continued to hit on me even after I let you know I was married with a child (and even if I did prefer innies to outies, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be my type as I've never found yard gnomes attractive)

Sometimes I forget how interesting it is to meet new people.




(please replace every instance of "interesting" with "COMPLETELY FUCKING UNNECESSARY AND A LITTLE WEIRD")

(also, please learn how to read and interpret social cues.)

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