Friday, December 10, 2004

Martyrdom, now available online!

I spend an inordinate amount of my work day on eBay, going through pages and pages of listings (usually under the guise of researching the competition for our eBay store - of which I am the shopkeeper) and I have to say that I am shocked, dismayed and frankly a little bit icked out by the number of people selling themselves (those of you who follow our incestuous little blog circle will note that I had suggested that Dominique do this, but 1- I knew she wouldn't. And 2 - I knew that if she did, she would do it with dignity, aplomb and good grammar), their debt or just vomiting out a sob story and blatantly asking for handouts. Seriously, WTF?

These listings all mention at least one of the following:

  • a mentally retarded child
  • a physically challenged child
  • three or more children
  • an aging parent with cancer
  • an aging parent with diabetes
  • an aging parent with a dilapidated house
  • two or more lost jobs (usually Walmart or a garage)
  • a family pet who needs an operation
  • a family pet who was burned saving orphaned kittens (from Madagascar, perhaps?)
  • a curse (this one's really good)
  • a ghost
  • overwhelming credit card debt

usually these listings are one run on sentence and include a picture of the family (none of whom look like they have missed any meals lately), and all of the listings claim to be a direct order from God (I would have to point out here that I'm not a religious girl, but I really, really, really doubt that God comes down, taps these people on the shoulder and advises them to whore themselves out to the highest bidder - isn't that one of the deadly sins?).

I'm not rolling in cash, and sure, there are things that I would like but I can't afford (like a villa in Tuscany, for instance) but honestly, it would never occur to me to beg for strangers to transfer money into my PayPal account. And, if I was a rich girl, I really, really, really doubt that I would spend my days in my villa in Tuscany scouring the internet for poor people with maxed out credit cards, Paypal accounts and enough money to cough up the $39 for an eBay featured listing.

And really, no disrespect to poor people, people who work at Walmart, people in Alabama, etc, I know that the economy is bad and lots of people have it rough right now, but Christ on crutches, people, have some dignity, would ya?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to step down off of my soapbox and prepare for my inevitable trip to hell.

posted by Veruca Salt at 7:11 AM |

5 comment(s):

  • Seriously - there are millions of single parent families or two parent families who don't have enough and don't beg for handouts, just use that good old standby of "hard work" (weird, huh?) - and these ebay whores are getting more and more outrageous in their plights just to try to get more attention - they must sit around their doublewides watching "Touched by an Angel" (if that's even still on) and dreaming up worse and worse details for their eBay listing "oooh, honey, what if I said that the baby got runned over by your work truck?" "good one, sweetie, let's also say that our house got burnt down by our landlord who smokes crack and stoled my kidney" - seriously, people, you've got a computer, why not hop on monster.com and apply for a job or two!

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 8:24 AM  

  • oooh sorry about the link Cate...I'll have one for you in a couple weeks though! (relocating due to certainty of compromised identity!)
    Good word, aplomb!

    It really makes me physically ill to see the irresponsibility of our world. Because that is exactly what it boils down to...it is everyone else's fault and certainly not theirs! So they want what they deem to be owed.

    By Blogger nique, at 9:13 AM  

  • While they COULD be going to their local library to post these requests on eBay, whaddya bet they're shelling out monthly payments to AOL/Earthlink/SBC that they could be using to buy food?!

    By Blogger Trish, at 9:22 AM  

  • Didn't Krist Novoselic (former Nirvana member) go for over seven grand on eBay this week? I hear he wants to run for congress eventually.

    By Blogger Phillip, at 12:30 PM  

  • lol excellent post. I'm a frequent ebayer too....sheesh its a good thing I'm infront of a computer all day. lol...But I've seen some people say liquidating estates. This could be true, it might not be. I just basically look for an item, and go with the one that has the best rates, shipping price, pictures and feedbacks.

    Wow Papa...you have 11 siblings? thats amazing.

    By Blogger Mia, at 1:57 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home