Thursday, March 03, 2005

Why Easter Is My Favorite Spring Holidays

By Cate Sheridan, grade 5

Easter is a holiday thought up by the Swiss to celebrate the return of the Cadbury Bunny from Cabo San Lucas (where he spends the winter).* His return is marked by various milk chocolate treats and pastel colors abounding.

Traditionally Easter is celebrated with the purchase of cellophane grass and plastic baskets in which to store colorful hardboiled eggs which will most likely never be eaten because, really, how many hardboiled eggs can you stand at once?

The Easter celebration is held on a different Sunday every year because the Easter Bunny forgets easily.

My favorite part of Easter is Cadbury Mini Eggs, because they are crack and I am their bitch.

Another vitally important part of the holiday is the Monday after when the entire spectrum of candy goes on sale at Walgreen's stores across the world, everything from Marshmallow Peeps to punk ass hollow rabbits are fifty percent off, thus allowing the celebration to be extended weeks (or days, in my case).

Easter also ushers in Spring and new Spring fashions, which also means that within weeks a whole new batch of self tanning products will hit the stores so everyone can be as orange as his or her favorite celebrity.

* Before you say it, I'm well aware that I'm going to Hell for this.