Thursday, August 05, 2010

Note to self -

Your brain is flakier than a delicious, buttery croissant, and that's fine - you're quirky, you're a space cadet, it's your thing - you forget simple words*, you lose track of sentences when you're in the middle of saying them, and you have forgotten to buy baking soda the last five times you were at the grocery store. No big, no one pays attention when you're speaking anyway and you've still got a half-full* can of baking powder.

But you really need to remember to take your cray cray meds on a regular basis because:

1) they keep your brain from feeling like a shaken (not stirred) snow globe.
2) they effectively restrain all those gross emotions and allow you to be logical and level-headed in nearly all situations
3) they keep you from turning into one of those girls who spends an inordinate amount of time doing things that might end up getting her labeled as "cuckoo for cocoa puffs", stuff like... oh, I don't know, let's say, hypothetically... checking someone's blog 40 times a day, or something***.
4) those meds might also enable you to maintain your pole position on the high road and keep you from being completely immature and reinforcing crazypants behavior by poking it with a stick paying attention to it... (but it's possible that Ambien might counteract that last one a smidge)

Maybe invest in one of those old people pill boxes. Then get some of those tan velcro shoes and maybe a kitty cat sweater.

Did I ever mention how bubblebath warm that Ambien makes me feel. It's warm and cozy and makes me want to wear furry slippers and just melt into bed. And the languid, liquid it gives me, i wonder if sleeping on a waterbed would make it better or worse.

Okay, I should probably go to bed since I'm taking on that chihuahua bobble head sort of thing. And all the people on tv are in doubles. and if I don't get to bed soon, I'm going to start seeing clowns out of the corner of my eye and then I'll have an ill-advised IM conversation, or send out a super ramble-y email or buy something completely unnecessary on eBay.

Okay, I should sign off before this trainwreck gets any wreck-ier...


* just this week, I forgot "thermal" and "shingles" - not in the same sentence, but still.

** or is it half-empty? I don't know that I'd ever describe a package of something as "half-empty" - does that mean I'm an optimist? I do have an annoying habit of looking for the silver lining in every situation, no matter how craptacular.

*** please note I don't do that kind of stuff. No one is that interesting to me. No one.

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2 comment(s):

  • 1. I have an old person pill box. It's necessary.

    2. Ambien never EVER affected me the way it does you. Lucky you! I'm jealous.

    By Blogger excruciatingly, at 5:55 PM  

  • am totally going to invest in a pill box. And a coin purse.

    and... I think I'm going to do all my blogging on ambien because it makes my posts much better - and gives me something to read in the morning.

    By Blogger Veruca Salt, at 5:59 PM  

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