Monday, December 13, 2010

The house we live in is an older-ish house, and my landlord is one of those guys who fixes things on his own - which is fine, he's more than capable at that stuff, but he does fix things cheaply-ish, he fixes them so they work, not for the aesthetics.

The plumbing and stuff is older-ish, and every time I take a shower, this is how it begins -

Turn on the water, switch it to shower mode, test the water and it's arctic.

Spend a couple of minutes plucking my eyebrows.

Test the water again - still frigid.

Spend a minute contemplating my roots, wondering if it's time to dye my hair again yet.

Test the water again - still really cold, turn the handle a little further towards the HOT.

Grab the Mr Clean Magic Eraser and tidy up the bathroom sink.

Test the water again - brrrr, icy

Strip down, carefully place my clothes in a pile in the clean sink.

Test the water - still effing cold

Tidy up my small makeup area, arranging my stuff in my little makeup case.

Test the water -wintry, at best.

Read the first few chapters of "War & Peace".

Test the water - slightly less cold

Read the rest of "War and Peace".

Test the water - still not warm enough.

Alphabetize my ridonkulously big collection of haircare products

Test the water - holy shit, it's nearly body temperature.

Quickly take off my towel, hang it on the bar next to the shower, hop into the shower and HOLY FUCK, THE WATER HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH MOLTON HOT MAGMA.

And after living here for nearly two years, there is not once that I've been able to take a shower without nearly needing skin grafts


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