Monday, May 30, 2011
Dear Spider I Trapped Under a Can of Bathroom Cleaner 2 days ago,HOW WERE YOU STILL ALIVE TODAY WHEN I GRABBED SAID BATHROOM CLEANER TO USE IT????
That's not right.
Sorry I tried to assassinate you with Scrubbing Bubbles, which apparently aren't an effective arachnid killer... and then sorry I swept you up with a paper towel and tossed you into the trash to assumably die a slow death - it would have been easier for everyone if I were capable of squishing bugs, but, alas, I am not.
Hope you're not still alive and waiting to come attack me in my sleep.
Hopefully your family members will learn to stay the fuck out of my house.
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