Friday, August 10, 2012

The first thing I notice about my new psychiatrist's office is that the waiting room is decorated in an African theme - with African animals painted on all the walls and giraffe, zebra and dalmation (???) print chairs.

The second thing I noticed was that the carpet was FILTHY. Just stained and gross and old.

The third thing I noticed is that I was, apparently, the oldest patient by about 20 years. Awesome.

The doctor calls me back and he's kind of a mess, he's got shaggy-ish hair that he plays with too much and he fidgets with the front pocket of his well-worn khakis. For some reason, I found this oddly comforting.

He asks me all the requisite questions, blah blah blah, my past, blah blah blah, my meds, blah blah blah, my current complaints. Then he gives me a quiz of what seems like the same three or four questions, over and over and when we're done, he asks if I know why he gave me the quiz.

"Kind of sounds like ADHD."

"Yes! And you've got all the classic symptoms of Adult ADHD!" He seemed so excited about it.

Um... nailed it?

So he tells me he wants to try me on some different meds.

"Sure, whatever you think is the best."

And he tells me that he wants to do some testing to make sure they get the dosage right for me, but my insurance won't cover the testing, so I'll have to pay out of pocket.

"Okay, if you think it's necessary."

And he tells me he'd like me to try out cognitive behavior therapy with another doctor in the office.

"Um... okay, I guess."

And he tells me that I need to give up coffee.

"Hey. Whoa. Let's not go crazy here, I mean, do we really need to take drastic measures like this?"

At the end of the appointment, when we're wrapping it up, he finishes scribbling down his notes and looks up at me to tell me that he's so excited to have me as a patient because "you have a specific set of problems that I'm able to help with!"

Um... you're welcome?

Labels: le crazy