Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Watching My Favorite Movie -him: He's been in something before...
me: He used to date Courtney Love.
him: ...
me: Oh, maybe you were thinking of something else that he was in...?
Labels: random pop culture reference
Friday, February 03, 2012
Not even narcotics can stop the obscure pop culture references
me: didn't my surgeon totally look like the head vampire from "Lost Boys"?him: um... no.
me: you didn't think he looked like him?
him: um... he looked nothing like Keifer Sutherland
me: He wasn't the head vampire, it was the guy who was dating Corey Haim's mom. Geez, get your 80s movie trivia straight.
Labels: random pop culture reference
Friday, December 09, 2011
I'm kind of having this kind of day -
basically, I stitched something a couple of months ago and posted it to Tumblr and it got a bunch of "likes" and I was happy because I have a delicate ego and am grateful for any and all validation.
A month or so later, it got reposted by someone else and got more likes and my cold black heart grew just a tiny bit warm.
Then about 2 weeks ago, someone ELSE reposted it and it got about 5 times more likes than ever and then it was getting featured on more and more websites (including, but not limited to the Huffington Effing Post!!!!) and the next thing I know, it's kind of a full-time job and I'm surprisingly able to buy Christmas presents with money earned from art (and I kind of have a waiting list that will probably carry me through February because I'm too
so... really this post wasn't anything other than an excuse to post that picture of Milhouse and procrastinate on the stitching I should be doing...
Labels: "awesome" ends with "me", random pop culture reference, suzy fucking homemaker
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
"Pressure increases for Weiner"
"Wife committed to Weiner"
"NYers slightly favor Weiner"
"Weiner calls Bill Clinton"
"Weiner's got competition"
"It's a matter of time for Weiner"
"What was Weiner thinking"
Dear Representative Weiner,
The only thing I know about your politics is that you're super liberal (OMG, ME TOO!) and I don't care whether or not you tweeted your pics of yourself to random skanks, that's between you and your internet service provider (and your wife, too, I suppose), but seeing your name in headlines makes me giggle so much that I hope you stay in politics forever and ever and ever.xxoo,
me
Labels: letter to, random pop culture reference
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place
the world may be imperfect, but this was perfection to me in my early teen years
ah, teen years, schmeen years, who am I kidding, he could still get it.
Labels: random pop culture reference
Sunday, April 10, 2011
8 words that made me almost pee my pants today?
"Emilio Estevez is now following you on Twitter"Labels: random pop culture reference, squeee
Friday, March 18, 2011
in case anyone was wondering
what I purchased while under the influence of Ambien...
by ShaeWow on etsy
It was actually on my etsy wishlist for a while - among the many reasons why I like it:
- it's well done
- look at that adorable frame
- it's wildly inappropriate, but in a quiet, private-joke kind of way
- it's a line from "Forgetting Sarah Marshall"
- "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" featured one of my major girl crushes, Mila Kunis
- "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" featured the future father of my future children, Jason Segel
Labels: and I'm not even on Ambien, random pop culture reference
Saturday, March 12, 2011
The Kid: Hey, Jersey Shore is on, can we watch that?Me: no
The Kid: Why not?
Me: Because god kills a kitten every time you watch it
The Kid: You have no proof of that
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And speaking of useless people being rewarded for being on their worst behavior, can we please stop paying attention to Charlie Fucking Sheen? He's an unstable douche with a history of drug use and violence towards women, why is anyone encouraging him to do anything but seek mental help? I mean, I know, as Americans, we're morally obligated to wallow in the schadenfreude, but it's not even funny anymore, it's just kind of sad.
Labels: adventures in shitty parenting, random pop culture reference
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
pro-tip
if you've been feeling malaise-y and generally unwell for the past week or so* and woke up with a terrrrrible headache and weird pressure-y pain behind your eyes, it's probably not a good idea to fall asleep to a "House" marathon because you'll just wake up positive that you have:a) Lupus**
b) Cushings***
c) an invisible tumor
and or
d) some weirdo viral infection that only 4 people in the entire world have ever heard of
*oh the joys of living with
**it's never Lupus
*** I don't even know what this is, but it's something they suggest an awful lot
Labels: pointless whining, random pop culture reference
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
In a Venn Diagram of music, The Kid and I would have a bit of overlap in some places. One of those places is Kanye West - sometimes this is a great set up forThe Kid: how come the dentist is called doctor if he's just a dentist?
Me: he's a doctor of dental surgery, that's the DDS after his name. Or he could have a Ph. D.
The Kid snickers in that way specific to 11-year-old boys when they think something is dirty and I know his first thought is a line from Kanye West's song "Breathe In, Breathe Out", in which he says "even though I went to college and dropped out pretty quick, I always had a Ph. D: a Pretty Huge Dick"
Me (in a scolding parental tone): Not the same way Kanye West has a Ph. D
The Kid snickers again, then his face turns serious: How do you know?
I raise my eyebrows at him and I see his mind race to Kanye's last single, "Runaway"* which has the line "I sent this girl a picture of my dick" as a look of horror takes over.
Me: Kidding. I have received no such email from Mr. West**
also, no, I don't police The Kid's musical choices all that much - that's another of those pick-your-battles things, you know?
* also, in case you were wondering, the new Kanye cd is brilliant. About 90 bajillion times better than the last one.
** although, thanks to the internet, I have seen it and... dude wasn't lying, okay? Still, when the hell will celebrities (and everyone else) learn to stop sending n00d pix to people? There is at least a 62% chance it's going to be seen by someone other than the person to whom you're intending to show your goodies - why take the chance?
Labels: adventures in shitty parenting, random pop culture reference
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Nothing here looks comfortable
Okay, girls of the world, can we agree on a few things?
1) None of us are defined by that little number on that little tag inside our clothes... okay, supermodels are, but they're compensated for it, so whatever.
2) When we're wearing out clothes, no one can see that little number on that little tag, so it doesn't really matter what that number says.
3) Just because you can squeeze into a particular size doesn't mean that particular size is the correct one for you - if all of your clothes leave you with angry red indentations on your skin for hours after you take them off, you might want to consider a different size - just so you can breathe.
4) I don't care how cute the outfit looks when you're posing for five seconds in front of your mirror at home, if you have to hold that pose all day or spend the entire day tugging and smoothing the outfit, it's no longer cute.
and, perhaps most importantly
5) Boobs are great, the least you can do for them is put them in the correct size bra.
Let me be clear when I say this isn't a criticism of body sizes - I'm in no position to call anyone chubby - I read some quote from Kate Moss about how nothing tastes as good as thin feels, but I'm guessing her taste buds have been killed by years of smoking or she's never eaten anything made with real butter, because come on - I just don't understand why someone would want to look like this:
when there are other options available.
Labels: just sayin', letter to, random pop culture reference
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I love cover songs. Love them. Usually more than the original version of the song.This, however, is the exception -
I love the original - it's a perfect song
but then a cover version comes along and... I'm in love all over again - I could put these two versions of this song on repeat and listen to them all day
Also, in case you were wondering - Cee-Lo's album is... wonderful.
Labels: random pop culture reference
Thursday, November 11, 2010
There are literally no movie rental stores in this city, so I've reluctantly turned to those kiosk things and... I'm hooked.It's convenient as all hell, you know, since I'm at the grocery store all the time and it's $1 to rent a movie for one day - which is way better than spending $6 or $7 to have the damn thing for a whole week (of which, the movie would generally languish on top of the tv for 6 days, then be watched on the last day).
I get movies all the time - movies I want to see, movies I'm on the fence about, even stuff I would have normally waited for cable for - it's $1, who cares if I'm renting "Death at a Funeral"*. In all that time, I have only really really really regretted two of the movies I've rented.
"Killers" (with Ashton Fucking Kutcher - The Kid suggested it, he said it looked funny)
and
"Human Centipede" - go ahead and check the wikipedia entry for the synopsis of that one.
One of those two movies I had to turn off after fifteen minutes because it was absolutely stomach-turning-ly terrible. Oddly enough, it wasn't the movie about the crazy German doctor who sewed people's pieholes to other people's cornholes**.
* liked the British version better, but the new one was still funny. Also, there's a dwarf in it and I do have that unholy obsession with little people.
** don't get me wrong, that movie was gross as hell and never should have been made or even thought up, but I watched the whole thing
Labels: and I'm not even on Ambien, random pop culture reference
Saturday, November 06, 2010
your 80s roots are showing...
In addition to playing basketball, The Kid talks about basketball all the time - NBA, NCAA and local. Some kid on one of the local teams is named Blaine and EVERY SINGLE TIME The Kid mentions this kid, I have to say -"Blaaaaaaine? His name is Blaine? Ugh, that's a major appliance, that's not a name!"
Labels: random pop culture reference
Sunday, October 31, 2010
a history lesson
Because of the name of my blog, which was, by the way, completely capricious and really means nothing to me, I happen to be the first link on most search engines for anything and everything snozzberry related.Every day, people end up here by googling stuff about snozzberries; what they are, if they exist, and recipes for them.
They were an invention of Roald Dahl (author of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", "James and the Giant Peach", "Matilda" and "Fantastic Mr. Fox", among other things) and originally appeared in Dahl's first published novel, "Some Time Never". They were described as a round, white, juicy fruit about the size of a currant, eaten by gremlins.
They were also mentioned in the Dahl book, "The BFG", the first Willy Wonka movie (Wonka claims that the snozzberries on the lickable wallpaper taste like snozzberries and Veruca Salt questions the authenticity of the fruit - thus my blog title), and the movie "Super Troopers".
But they're not really real, k?
So there it is. And if you came here expecting something snozzberry-related but just got stuck with my blog which is generally not snozzberry-related... sorry about that.
Labels: random pop culture reference