Monday, October 01, 2012

my therapist guy: how is your sleep pattern? How are you doing without Ambien?

me: here's what I like about Ambien, it saves time.

my therapist guy (abruptly looking up from his notebook): that's one I haven't heard before. How so?

me: if I don't take it, I lie in bed for anywhere from half an hour to an hour doing nothing. Not even staring at the ceiling because I don't have my contacts in, so I can't see anything anyway. When I take Ambien, I get to sleep right away.

my therapist guy: but what would you be doing in that hour if you weren't in bed?

me: anything would feel like a better use of my time. I really hate just lying there; Ambien is a time-saver.

my therapist guy: I would request you stop thinking of it like that.

me: And I would politely decline that request.


Okay, seriously, I've given this therapy the old college try - I showed up for all my appointments on time, I did a majority of the homework I was assigned, I was as candid as necessary, and I will admit that I've even put into use some of the "anxiety-coping techniques" he's suggested, but I just don't know if it's really the thing for me. It could be that 75% of our sessions are him skipping down different tangents that either end up with some completely unrelated story (today, it was a tale about a Bob Dylan concert he attended, a couple weeks ago, it was something about frotteurism and the week before that, something about cleaning techniques for whiteboards.) Or it could be that many of his thoughts and opinions about medication and stuff are directly contrary to the thoughts and opinions of the dude with the prescription pad. I don't know, it's weird. Maybe I just need a little break from co-pays and poorly-decorated waiting rooms and all that medical stuff.

Labels: le crazy